My surgery is in 9 days. That is 9 days to clean my house from top to bottom, grocery shop for at least a few weeks worth of food, organize things so other people can help themselves, freeze meals for Scott and the kids, and most importantly, Get all the sex I can possibly get.
After surgery, there will be at least 6 weeks of 'pelvic rest', if not more. Because I require some other repairs down there, I'm most likely facing a longer recovery. I shouldn't complain because I've survived 2 pregnancies where sex was off limits, and also numerous deployments apart from the husband.
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On March 26th, I started what I thought was my last period ever. It had only been 3 weeks since the previous period so I was pretty irked. Once it was over, I threw out every pair of period panties I had in my drawer and took the case of tampons out of the cabinet. It was very freeing!
Since then, I've been working my job. I work from home and even though it averages out to a 10 day span of the month, I can work all day and still have more to do at night. That means I'm too busy to do much around the house and things fall apart. I tried not to stress even though I felt like the mess was putting me further behind my goal of a spotless, organized home before surgery. My fatigue is so bad that I did well just to keep up with dishes and cook dinner every night. I kept telling myself the weekend was coming and I could catch up. I was dead wrong!
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Friday, I had an appointment with my surgeon. She told me ahead of time she'd be checking out my bladder to see what she was working with and get an idea of anything it needed done to it during my hysterectomy. They told me my insurance was rejecting the 'procedure' because it should really be done inpatient in the hospital. WHAT?!! I'm in your office, an hour from my house...I drove myself here!!! The nurse kept saying it was no big deal and everything was fine. Then they handed me a sheet with 'post-op instructions'. Wait, this is an operation? On it, highlighted, it says NO SEX FOR 14 DAYS. Are you kidding me? I have 13 days left until my surgery, lady! I'm trying to stay calm, but this ginormous bag of fluid hanging over my head and all these weird looking instruments are starting to seriously skeeve me out.
My doctor comes into the procedure room, followed by a male med student. Awesome. Then she proceeds to put a condom on an ultrasound probe and pour a serious amount of lube on it. I start to giggle nervously and say, "I guess there's just no dignity left in any of this anymore." She did the ultrasound and found my issues were only getting worse and I'm still making the right decision to remove my uterus.
Next she tested my bladder by filling it with fluid through my urethra, via a catheter. It was my job to tell her when I absolutely could no longer stand it, and try not to kick her in the face. Then, I had to run down the hall, out into the LOBBY to the restroom. Did I mention I'm in a hospital gown and barefoot? I'd even forgotten to wear socks!! A nurse followed and timed how long it took to empty the cold fluid from my bladder and then she measured it. My doctor did some sort of mathematical calculations and figured out exactly how sad my poor bladder really is.
When I returned to the room I thought I was done, but she still wanted to prod me some more. She and the student took turns looking through a scope inside of my bladder. It was so awkward watching them down there, like tourists with one of those telescopes you put a quarter in at the Grand Canyon. She mapped out a plan of action and decided she can fix me up and everything should last me a long time as long as I stop lifting heavy things. Oy.
When I got home I googled as many possible combinations of words as I could think of to see if it was really necessary to avoid sex for 2 weeks now. I couldn't find any answers but did find that most people that have a cystoscopy, as I'd just had, get anesthesia. Now, it wasn't bad at all but I feel kind of ripped off for not getting good drugs.
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Saturday, Scott and I went to the movies and did some Easter shopping for the kids. It was a nice afternoon date but I was starting to feel funky. By the next morning I had a full blown cold that knocked me on my butt. My head felt like a bowling ball and I my eyes were so sensitive to light. Scott went off shooting with his friend for the morning. I made him go even though I was in no shape to care for the kids. I know he's got a few weeks stuck indoors with me coming up. I was only able to lie on the couch and watch the house around me getting messier, laundry getting higher and my nose getting runnier. I was trying not to panic about being so sick before surgery. I have asthma and I know they'll postpone it if my lungs are not in decent shape.
So now I'm sick with a horrendous head cold. I haven't been sick in over a year because I was taking so many vitamins daily and taking better care of myself. A week ago, I stopped all supplements to get ready for surgery, wouldn't you know. I'm trying to tough it out and mentally talk this cold out of my face. I only have two more days before I can't even take a Motrin for a headache! Scott won't come near me because he's afraid of this illness and needs to be in top shape for work. So I've been sleeping on the couch for his sake.
I felt way better today and even worked out- twice! I decided that I only have 1 more week with my original parts and I'd hate to waste this time not having sex. What if it is never the same again? I finished my round of antibiotics from the cystoscopy, drank tons of water every day and had no issues so I was going to chance sex anyway. Well, it is never a good idea to make plans. I just started another period. It has been 2 weeks since my last one. By the time this stupid jerk goes away, it'll be too late.
I'm telling myself this is no big deal, it won't be the last time I ever have sex again. A perk of this surgery is that I'll have a completely rebuilt you-know-what. That means I'll be like a 17 year old down there! But I'm only 31. I'm at that age where things are awesome and comfortable and here I go messing with the works...
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