I have always had it easy when it came to all things reproductive. I never had any complaints about periods and I was able to get pregnant two times very easily. I didn't even start menstruating until I was almost 14 years old.
My pregnancies were not without problems. I had false labors several times. Both babies were laying sooooo low and always putting pressure on me. With Jack, my second child, I had excruciating back pains and round ligament pain. But my deliveries could not have been easier! I was able to get through with no epidurals, no problems. I was up, walking around and helping clean up the room after my first child was born.
Jack was born in 2007 and by 2009 I was confident I was done having babies. Scott deployed to Iraq and I decided that was the best time to have a tubal ligation. Both times I got pregnant, he had just returned home from deployments overseas. I needed to get 'fixed' before he had any chance to get near me. The surgery was quick and painless. I was home within 4 or 5 hours, walking around the mall the next day. The only side effect I'd noticed was I now had a nerve pain in my right leg once a month.
Scott returned home from Iraq 2 weeks after my surgery and the Air Force moved us across the country within 3 months, in January 2010.
Once we got settled in here, I started putting on weight. Lots of it. I was already heavy to being with. I attributed it to living in a new place, altitude, being a homebody, crappy weather trapping me indoors, etc. I also started feeling weird all the time, like in a fog. I couldn't recall information as quickly as I used to, started forgetting things Scott or Maggie asked me to do. I lost interest in all my hobbies.
I've had a weak bladder for the past 10 years, since being pregnant with Maggie. But it only got worse. I never do anything without first saying, "Let me go pee first." I assumed my weight was the issue. After all, it was only getting worse the heavier I was getting.
In October 2011, exactly one year after my tubal ligation, I realized I'd gained 40lbs already. I decided to do something about it. I was hoping to reverse my bladder issue, reduce my asthma severity and get back to the way I looked when I got married in 2000. I never meant to 'let myself go' as much as I had.
I got a treadmill, kicked soda to the curb, stopped eating as much garbage and just made my health my #1 priority. By New Years 2012, I'd lost 60lbs.
I really thought after losing so much weight I would feel amazing! On the contrary, things were getting worse. I had an energy boost for awhile but it had disappeared. Instead, I started needing to sleep in late, take naps or just lie around in my pajamas all day. My periods started getting crazy bad. I was having hysterical mood swings. I would gain 8-10lbs with each period and then spend the rest of the month getting that weight back off. It got to the point that I only felt okay after my period was over up until it was time to ovulate. And then that evolved into just one week of okay-ness out of the month. I was getting debilitating back aches that extended down my butt and leg. I knew things were way off but thought this was just how things were as you get older.
Before Christmas 2011, my husband told me I needed to do something about my problems. He never knew when I was going to freak out on him. I thought I really just needed therapy.
In January I finally got in to see a gynecologist. I was hoping she'd give me a physical, maybe an anti-depressant and a referral to a shrink. She was pretty cold and callous. She said I had no right to complain about heavy periods if I had 15 years of light ones first. But then she did the exam. She told me what I already knew in the back of my mind. My uterus was low. Way low. The midwife instantly started discussing having a hysterectomy. WHAT?! I'm 30 years old!! I know I'm done with kids but I'm not open to just removing any organ I don't currently use! I left the appointment pretty pissed.
I made another appointment to see a doctor at the base clinic for a second opinion. She was younger and much nicer so I thought for sure she'd see things my way. She confirmed the problem also. She reassured me it was not a done deal yet, maybe a surgeon could offer me more options.
While I'm doctor hopping, my issues are getting much worse. I have pelvic pain nearly daily. I can't lift anything heavy without cramping or spotting. My back and uterus are trying to mutiny. I started researching my options while I was waiting for my next appointment to come around. I'd located a surgeon with great reviews, an hour away, in Colorado. I was praying she'd be able to put some 2x4's in there and some duct tape and make things work for another 30 years at least.
My 31st birthday comes and goes, but not without a visit from my insane hormones. At this point, I'm starting to come to grips with the possibility of having my uterus removed, but I'm scared to death of what this will mean for my sex life. What if something goes wrong and I'm never the same down there again? I can't stop Googling every possible outcome. Before this, I'd never heard of Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome. I feel like if I had been more informed before my tubal ligation about possible outcomes, I wouldn't be here. Things went to hell in a hand basket so quickly after I begged a doctor to sterilize me.
So the time came when I finally met with the surgeon. She thinks my problems are too severe to save it. So we moved forward with surgery planning. After 3 opinions, I was out of fight. She was able to connect my mood swings & fatigue to a giant cyst on my right ovary. My heavy periods and back pains caused by my enlarged, angry uterus. She suspects Adenomyosis is causing a ruckus in there as well. Removing the uterus and cervix, she says, will also eliminate the incontinence. She will perform the surgery using a DaVinci robot system. I'll have 4 tiny little holes, glued shut, on my stomach. And I will go home that day!
My surgery is scheduled for April 19th, 2012. I am excited that my sister is able to come be with me. My husband is a great caregiver, but having another woman with me while I recover will be great. He can't begin to understand the symbolism of having a uterus removed. I started taking Zoloft preemptively too. I'm sure the blues will hit while I'm stuck watching everyone else take control. I have serious issues about not being in charge.
I had my last period I'm ever going to have. It was awful and every minute of it reassured me I was making the right decision. As soon as it was over, I tossed out my 'period panties' and packed up a case of tampons to send away.
I'm not scared, but excited about the future! I have been on the path to being healthier and happier so this bump in the road isn't going to slow me down for much longer. I am looking forward to jumping on the trampoline with my kids. I want to try a Zumba class and see what all the fuss is about. I want to be a great mom and wife that isn't always about to fly off the handle for no reason.
I don't want anyone to be sorry for me. If my quality of life is suffering, why should I put this off any longer? I just wanted to share my story and help other women be more open about these issues and symptoms.
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